BENEATH THE MASK
Today is Halloween, a day when children (and many adults) wear masks and pretend to be someone or something they are not. Some of these costumes are inspiring heroes and others are frightening fantasy characters. Just for the fun and tradition of it, we attempt to disguise who we really are underneath and cover up with a masquerade.
Halloween has become one of the most celebrated holidays in America, but we don’t need such a celebration to put on masks and pretend to be someone or something else. In fact, we do it all the time. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, the word “person” is derived from the Latin word persona, which means “an assumed character, a mask, or a false face,” like the face that an actor presents to his or her audience in a play. Our personalities (our masks) often reveal the complex costumes we have put on throughout our lives to hide our innermost fears and truths. They are a sort of protection, masks that we use simply to exist and prevent any further wounding to the “real me,” that essence of God that exists deep within.
Some days, when I feel safe and secure, my mask resembles that of an angel. Other days, when I feel somehow threatened, you might catch a glimpse of a scary witch! That’s because the persona that I present to the world can fluctuate, depending on the circumstances I encounter. It’s part of our survival mechanism and what some theorists term our “survival personality.” When we feel safe, we are likely to put on a different mask than the one we might wear in threatening situations. In times of strife, I might put on a hero’s mask, or I might don a sheep’s costume, if I am lacking strength at that particular time.
When we love someone who struggles with substance use disorder or other addictions, we might ask ourselves if we are seeing the real person deep within or the mask that he or she is presenting on any given day. I once visited an Intensive Outpatient Program where people in early recovery were asked how they thought people would describe their personalities. Some of the traits they named were: lazy, immature, entitled, arrogant, threatening, liar, ego-centric, pleasure-seeker, and manipulative. Then they were asked how they really felt on the inside. They responded: disgusting, outcast, degraded, guilty, inferior, lonely, worthless, doomed, used, powerless, ostracized, persecuted, condemned, and ugly. We can catch a glimpse of the masks and survival personalities here. To hide what the addicted person presumes to be ugly underneath, various masks are put on because they believe that the truth is repulsive.
A similar dynamic happens with those who love the addicted. If we look at the masks these people present to the world, we might describe them as being controllers, caretakers, self-righteous, judgmental, blamers, intolerant, or complainers. Yet when we remove those masks that have been put on for survival and protection, we will likely discover that deep within they are sad, lost, lonely, afraid, helpless, confused, and depressed.
What we must all remember is that hidden deep within each and every one of us, beneath all of the costumes and masks, God’s pure, divine essence of love resides. Unfortunately, it’s too often covered up by the masquerade we have put on to create a false sense of security. It takes much personal awareness and work to remove our masks and costumes and expose our true selves deep within. It will be much easier if we remember that at the core of each and every one of us lies something wonderful, beautiful, and holy: the Spirit of God (Romans 8:9). This Halloween (and always), let’s remove our masks and help others feel safe enough to remove theirs, so that together we may let God’s healing love shine forth.
This concept is thoroughly explored and explained in Session Two of our video series We Thirst: Christian Reflections on Addiction. Click HERE for more details.
